Relationships

Everyone always says that long distance is tough, so I was definitely nervous to transition to long distance in med school. On top of that, I was stressed about meeting new friends while in a relationship because I thought I’d have to miss out on fun times to take Facetime calls. I can now say with all honesty that long distance in grad school is just not a big deal. I’ve made the best of friends and had the best time, all while staying close to my partner.

My boyfriend is in law school, and the fact that we are both busy has actually made it easier. Since we can’t see each other often or talk for hours every day, communication and realistic expectations have been really important. Long distance might not be perfect and wonderful all the time, but it can still be really fun and romantic overall with the right attitude. I may have had to swap long walks on the beach for long lines at the airport, but my relationship is just as magical as it was before.

A wise teammate in undergrad once told me, “Man, you get to go home to someone who loves you at night, and I get to go home to our teammate who’s loud and stinks!” Although your roommate may not have that level of B.O., it is fantastic to have the love of a spouse to come home to, and my wife is nothing less than amazing. I spend the majority of my day on campus studying so that when I’m home, I’m free to spend time with her. Having these clear boundaries is a pattern that works best for us; however, some fellow married students do this differently. Find what works best for you but know that a spouse is definitely a huge blessing!

Congratulations, you are in love! The inertia of the single life is — how do I put this — inescapable. But you are a lucky one and have found a partner in crime in medical school! Your classmates will complain about being single all the time and you will just nod in agreement, secretly thinking about all the fun things you and your beau/belle will do later.

I’m not Dr. Phil, PhD, so I will not overreach in giving advice. My only words would be for both of you to define what you want your relationship to be from the onset. My partner and I like to separate school from our relationship, but that’s just us. You will see it is easy to have medical school banter dominate any conversation, so be wary!

It is really nice to have a best friend who knows what you are going through to decompress with at the end of the day. Be supportive of each other, intentionally build your partner up, and watch yourself be more successful than ever before.

My boyfriend is not a WUSM student, and I am very glad he’s not! When I’m laser-focused on my next anatomy exam, I love that he brings me back to reality and reminds me to relax. Conversely, when I really, really, don’t want to study, he gently reminds me why I should. He’s eternally impressed and excited to hear about whatever I learned in class that day. He’s a graduate student, so although we both have to study a fair amount, our most stressful times generally do not overlap. We’re able to support each other with cuddles and cat pictures. When we both have free time (which is honestly more often than you might think), we enjoy exploring St. Louis together.

It might sound crazy to try to plan a wedding from halfway across the country at the same time as starting your first year of medical school, but it really is possible here at WashU! Whether I needed to move assignments around a bit or fly out to California for dress fittings, our program here has been incredibly understanding and supportive, and the faculty and instructors have gone above and beyond to help minimize my stress levels. Plus, there are TONS of resources like amazing course TAs and instructors, free tutoring, student counseling services, financial aid and budget experts, and so many other people who are here to help you succeed, regardless of the stresses you may be going through (because life can be stressful enough as it is!). Seriously — this program is amazing and I’m so glad to have had so much of their (and, of course, my now-husband’s) support throughout this wild planning ride!