I love words like some people love music or food. I love how they sound, what they mean, their origins. And there’s nothing like a good synonym. But sometimes more is less. Sometimes, economy of words is required (like in newsletters). But here’s the point. I’m going to bring up a word that has been defiled by the COVID experience, perverted into a twisted evil shadow of itself. That’s right. I’m talking about gratitude. Before you start having resilience flashbacks, let’s find another word that means gratitude but doesn’t sound like it. Like thankfulness. No? Not even with Thanksgiving right around the corner? You’re right. Too close to gratitude. Acknowledgement? I agree – too impersonal. Appreciation? That feels right. Let’s go with it.
- Read ‘The Booger Book’ by JB O’Neil – hilarious, with hidden PSA (don’t pick/eat boogers!)
- Do some Booger Madness Mad-Libs – fun for all ages.
- Make a Snot Trap (after the leftovers are safely stowed in the fridge)
- Make your own booger-flavored pop-tarts
- In lieu of watching ‘Revenge of the Nerds,’ listen to Booger & Gilbert’s Totally Awesome 80’s Mix on Spotify.
Box 1: Family-friendly, hygienic booger-related Thanksgiving activities (to boost wellbeing).
OK Thanksgiving. It’s in a couple of weeks. I hope everyone has plans to be with people they love. If not, I’d invite you over, but I’ll be enjoying a week away with family, including a gaggle of lovely children (ages 5-9) who are totally into boogers and poop and everything gross. You can imagine their delight at the fact that the house we rented for the week is on Boogertown Road. (Being able to talk about boogers professionally wasn’t the only reason I became a child psychiatrist, but it did influence my decision if I’m being 100% honest with you). While we’re on the subject of boogers, as a responsible physician, I have to remind everyone this cold, flu and COVID season that nose-picking (and closely related booger-tasting) is NOT healthy or safe. But you can still have hygienic fun with boogers. See Box 1 for family-friendly, hygienic booger-related activities that aren’t too last-month.
Back to appreciation. Friends, I have some news for you. We might be thinking about gratitude all wrong. I know. We all say we have a gratitude practice, because what if you worked in mental health and didn’t? People might figure out that we don’t have a lock on the cure for the human condition (gasp!). But here’s the neuroscience (which is how you know it’s real science): Appreciation works, and you can cultivate it just by remembering a time when you felt truly appreciative, as well as when you recall feeling appreciated yourself. But there’s more! Appreciation works best if you 1) intentionally express it to another person (ideally in a prosocial way, minus boogers) 2) do not feel coerced by a moral affect like shame or guilt. This makes sense to me, because mirror neurons (and that’s all I’ve got). Now, you can get hooked on feeling appreciated (so people pleasers, beware). It’s that powerful! But so is feeling unappreciated. How to strike the right balance? That one’s easy. Inauthentic appreciation is just like a lab-created booger: fake. And honestly? More gross than the real thing. So, let’s stick to the real thing (pun intended, obviously).
In the spirit of Thanksgiving (and real science), let’s all go practice some authentic appreciation. I’ll start us off: Thank you for choosing to work here, for choosing to solve complex problems, for choosing to help others, absorbing their pain and distress, and choosing to establish boundaries and practices that help keep work at work. Separately, if you can think of ways to incorporate boogers into a departmental wellbeing activity, stay tuned for the departmental DE&I survey (and a chance to win one of FIVE $100 gift cards), which we thank you in advance for filling out! Happy Thanksgiving!